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Submitted on
April 26, 2012


6 (who?)

Thursday: Let's Play Expert!

Thu Apr 26, 2012, 12:28 PM by Ayame-Kenoshi:iconayame-kenoshi:

Nice work on the curation contest last week! Your selections were terrifying, lovely, and surprising! :love:

Our top six winners are:

:bulletpurple: Horror
Chosen by Wiggsly and Ymile
:: NO One's There :: by Al3ashAlh November - in the evening by JakezDaniel :thumb202134340:
Horror by Joe-Roberts Thanatophobia: Fear of Death by AnthonyPresley Nightmare by ilkergoksen

:bulletred: Love
Chosen by ReneeStone and LadyofGaerdon
In love.... .... by addy-ack LoVe II by Basistka Notes Of Love by oO-Rein-Oo
Violet and Raven by AkubakaArts Misty Weniera by tracyjb The Deer princess and the prince by Costurero-Real

:bulletyellow: Surprise
Chosen by CamishaKelley and Itti
Scream by behindthesofa Izaya flavored by Maisami-chan :thumb201987302:
Jack in the Box Sketch by gregbo OMG by JessicaBader Jawdrop by Briskby

Congratulations! Winners will be contacted about their prizes within the next 24 hours. :clap:

:star: This week, our contest is all about education. Did you know that politzerization is the secret ceremony held for new politicians before they enter the world of politics? Little is known about this meeting, but insiders have leaked that there is some form of brainwashing involved, as well as delicious pastries.

Well, it's not completely true. Actually, it's not true at all. But, this week, we're playing a game I like to call Expert, where you get to be the know-it-all regardless of how much you actually know!  

The rules are simple.  We'll give you a question that only an expert in a particular field would know.  Your task is to pretend you are an expert in that field, and answer the question to the top of your intelligence.

However, we don't want you to use Google to find an accurate answer.  We're looking for creative answers that sound legitimate and intelligent, just like an expert would say.

We'll give you three questions.  Use whatever inspiration these questions give you to craft a response worthy of an expert.  You may answer just one, two, or all three of them.  There's no particular length restrictions, but be sure you explain your answer in depth.  Remember, we're not going for accuracy, but creativity!

Your questions are:
:bulletyellow: Please describe the process of conducting an organoleptic analysis.
:bulletyellow: What do buckyballs look like?
:bulletyellow: What is a vomitory used for?

We'll pick a winning response for each question (three winners total) who will receive a 12x18 Photo Print of their choice and the Official dA Sticker Pack II!

All entries must be submitted as comments to this journal by Tuesday, May 1st at 11:59 PM Los Angeles, CA time. Entries will be judged based on creativity, cleverness, and intelligence.  Enter as many times as you wish!

So, experts, are you up to the challenge? :eager:

Add a Comment:
A vomitory, contrary to popular belief, is a compartment in the lower basements of a building, generally those built before the 18th century, that Satanists or other Devil-worshippers used for singing. Most vomitories, especially eastern European ones, are situated six feet underground, which may or may not have connection to the proper depth of graves or the "Devil's number". However, all vomitories consist of a layer of sound-proof walls lined with cotton and then doubly padded by obsidion-black clay. The purpose, of course, is to prevent discovery as they perform their vocal rituals. In the event that the wall is defected, sound will escape, often resulting in paranoia of the people living aboveground.

The name "vomitory" is derived from "vocimor", meaning "voice of death." Later, when the public (most notably, the Church) discovered the grotesque practices held in the vomitories, they made a point to ridicule it by associating "vomitory" with the act of retching, hurling, and throwing up, as the singing made by its occupants was so terrible it triggered reverse peristalsis in all who listened. Thus, "vomit" was coined, and vomitories, eventually, became obselete. Died, one could say.
xTalithax Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:bulletyellow: Please describe the process of conducting an organoleptic analysis.

This is a deceptively simple procedure, requiring a few simple, every day components. In order to conduct your "organoleptic analysis" with the greatest accuracy, you will need:
3m copper wiring
4x wire connectors (crocodile model)
2x electrodes
1x car battery
2x lightbulb
1x pair rubber gloves
1x ginger kitten
1x clippers

First, set up your circuit, connecting the wire to the battery to the lightbulb, but leaving a gap for the kitten. Then, attach the eletrodes depending on which part of the anatomy you wish to test the conductivity of. It is advised you wear rubber gloves as the circuit is connected, and shave the correct area of the kitten prior to beginning.
The cat should survive.
Maybe best to have a spare?
Or two?

:bulletyellow: What do buckyballs look like?

These are surprisingly addictive sculpture tools, created from an elastic rubber. They are traditionally neon pink in appearance, however, recently they have spawned variants in vomit-green and odeon-cinema-ticket-orange. They have become increasingly popular among not-even-remotely-famous artists, and truly, one has to wonder why? ;p

:bulletyellow: What is a vomitory used for?

Traditionally, these are used for the depositing of unwanted ideas. One might say, "I'm off to the vomitory," in order to elicit sympathetic responses from those around them, and even on occasion, the pre-emptive arrangement of a funeral and a wake, for the extraction of unwanted ideas by the highly trained vomitory staff is a highly unpleasant procedure, although the recent paint-job upon the extraction room walls (liver red to soft green) has decreased the fatality rate with some significance. Talks are underway in various governments worldwide about the possible healing effects of sky blue.
Eolhin Apr 30, 2012   General Artist
Describe the process of conducting an organoleptic analysis?

This is the process of analyzing the structure of leptins (important biological proteins) using only completely organic compounds that biodegrade and do not harm the environment. A variety of such compounds can be used in the analysis, depending on what information is desired about the specific leptin. Each organic compound is tested on the leptin first separately, then occasionally in combinations, when testing with individual compounds has not given the desired results and information.
fearless-frog Apr 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Please describe the process of conducting an organoleptic analysis.

Organs, particularly the huge ones found in churches and cathedrals (I am talking about keyboards etc) are known to be so loud and have such deep sounds that they can vibrate the building. In the Middle Ages it was speculated that organs suffered from a form of Epilepsy - hence the shaking. In olden times epilepsy was known as the sacred disease, so it seemed logical to the scholars and theologians of the day that an organ serving a holy place might contract some form of the disease. To determine this a procedure known as an Organoleptic Analysis was carried out. The method cannot be revealed as it was a secret known only to the most sacred elite. It is rumoured that there are still some who carry the secret, but they would never reveal anything, on pain of death and eternal damnation.

What do buckyballs look like?

Well, that's simple - they look like buckyballs.


What is a vomitory used for?

Opinion is divided on this one. It has been suggested that it is another name for any building where politicians gather and spout out policies etc. However I believe that a vomitory is an information centre for scientists, researchers and other interested parties. If you need to identify a particular kind of vomit you should try to gain access to a Vomitory. It is a sort of vomit museum where many different samples are exhibited. Obviously these samples deteriorate horribly after a while so you may be able to offer yourself as a vomit donor. If you can vomit in an unusual manner, you could make a great deal of money, or so it is said. However, there are conspiracy theories regarding vomitories. Many believe that they are really part of a great quest to solve an enigma as mysterious as the Alchemists' Philosophers Stone. The great question is of matter what a person has eaten/drunk in the preceding hours.....why does vomit ALWAYS contain diced carrots?
I doubt this riddle will ever be satisfactorily solved but it is symbolic of man's search for pure truth and the workings of the universe.
Tobaeus Apr 29, 2012   Writer
Please describe the process of conducting an organoleptic analysis:

The first thing you must do is inspect the organ to see that it is, in fact, an organ. If you have a piano on your hands, the analysis is complete. If you do have an organ, move on to the next step. This, simply stated, is to determine whether you have a pipe organ or an electric one. A pipe organ will no doubt have large, cylindrical tubes standing in irregular order behind the part with the keys and pedals. These are for the expulsion of air and produce a more dramatic sound. (c.f. Phantom of the Opera.) An electric organ is much more compact, but not more ambulatory, due to its need to constantly be attached to a power source. The sound's quality will be very different as well, as the music will come from a speaker instead of the pipes. Now that we have determined that you definitely have an organ, and whether is it a pipe or electric one, the question must then be posed. What is a lept, and how does it relate to organs? More on that in our next seminar.
Ruru-Kenny Apr 29, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
To perform an Organoleptic Analysis you must be in a modrately crowded, public area where you may look around and observe pedestrians in normal activities (concerts and sports stadiums will probably not work). You should make check list of normal human habits, such as ear scratching, eye rolling, neck cracking, avoidance of cracks in the sidewalk, abuse of mudkips, etc. Then, the analysis begins. Simply make a checkmark on your checklist of how often each habit or activity occurs. It is also adviseable to have some extra writing space so you can add to your list should you notice a particular habit you hadn't initially thought of becoming increasingly popular. This analysis is to help determine what is normal and abnormal.
traveling-Bard Apr 28, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Vomitory? It is time for a history lesson, my dear.

Back in the days that the Romans and Greeks held sway over the known world, pleasure in excess was freely indulged. Greed and gluttony combined with the creation of the vomitory.

A vomitory was a room that was built within the houses of the wealthy for the sole purposes of dealing with some of those excesses. Imagine if you will, a lavish party. Music fills the room, dancing girls entertain the guests while they work their way through a 15+ course meal of exotic dishes. Swan stuffed with goose, stuffed with duck, stuffed with quail, stuffed with sparrow. Fermented eel. A full ox roasted and basted over an open fire. Those are but a few examples.

In order to have room for all of these tasty dishes, the guests would leave their lounging couch and head for the vomitory when they began to feel full. There, they would then purge their stomachs, emptying all food from their system. They would then rinse their mouths with a swish and swallow of wine, and then return to the party and continue their indulgence of the expertly prepared dishes. And drinking.

Bulimia as an expected, and encouraged, part of life.
Highstar16 Apr 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
What is a vomitory used for?
Well you see, the regular lavatory is used for your everyday bodily functions. Where the vomitory is specifically for sick persons bile. if you feel nauseous we experts suggest finding your nearest one. Vomitories come complete with a personal nurse, ginger ale, and a free take-home bucket (comes in 6 variety colors). not for binge and purge cycles.

The word comes from Julius Caesar. Caesar escaped an assassination attempt because he felt ill after dinner. Instead of going to the latrine, where his assassins were waiting, he went to a special room made for the purpose of him becoming ill and avoided assassination. He called this room his "Vomitorium" later shortened to Vomitory.
Jh-m Apr 28, 2012  Student Digital Artist
What do buckyballs look like? Its a ball that looks like it could throw you off.
Argolith Apr 28, 2012  Hobbyist Photographer
An organoleptic analysis is always performed by a skilled organist and a neurologist. In the process an organ is used to trigger an epileptic seizure in a patient, while the neurologist conducts an MRI of the patient's brain.

I actually know the answer to the second question: Buckyballs look like soccer balls and are comprised of 60 carbon atoms.

As to the use of a vomitory I can only speculate, and I don't like what comes to mind.
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